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I Hate The Bastards...

Seagulls I'm talking about. Not the French.

In fact, even as I'm writing this, there's a gang of them arguing on the station buffet roof. (Again, I mean seagulls. I got rid of the French gang that had nested on the roof ages ago).

And these seagulls are really violent. It's the equivalent of a gangsta turf war in our town, except rather than holding their groins and talking about bitches and drugs, they're squawking about nesting rights and fish.

Well that's only a guess. I don't understand what they're talking about, so maybe it IS about bitches and drugs. Come to think of it, I don't understand most gangsta rappers, so maybe I've got it all wrong and they're singing about nesting and fish.

After all, there aren't many fish restaurants in tough areas, so it would be a valid complaint.

"You think I'm fuckin' wi' my bitch cos I slap her
I just angry, all drugs and no red snapper..."

That's what the kids want to hear - issues that effect THEM.

Actually, the council has told me these are Portuguese seagulls, so maybe they're arguing about sherry.

Anyway, it's getting out of hand. I've been dive-bombed daily for the past month every time I try and enter or leave the buffet, and I've been shit on twice. (I assume it was a seagull, but I didn't look up to check. Maybe I didn't get rid of all the French after all...)


 

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